Day 608—How I use my hot flash to support myself
Here I would like to share my observation and work with the hot flash experience of my body to provide some context for people who have the similar situation and also during this process to support myself .
I was having hormone problems since many years ago and which caused quite some body conditions need to be taken care of. Until the summer 5 years ago, the hot flash started coming, during that stage I already had an early menopause caused by uterus surgery for a couple of years, and from medical knowledge I know this hot flash caused by hormone imbalance belongs to one of the menopause syndromes which makes autonomic nervous system become dysfunction. And there is another obvious event during that time in my life was that I was dealing with a serious relationship conflict, within which I had strong emotional waves up and down for quite some time already.
The hot flash was quite strong since the beginning and about a dozen times a day, it’s the feeling of body heating up within me and my head and neck would become red and my upper body would sweat and then the whole body is just soaking in the unbearable heat. Since I am already joining the course of DIP to start the process of directing myself in life, I found there are always some emotional reactions following every occurrence of hot flash, thus what I know about it is to just stop the reactions and see the hot flash as it is, and found in this way I can still get along with it.
I decided not to see the doctor because I am sure what they would do is the treatment of hormone medicine, and I have heard long time ago that it may cause cancer and I don’t want the risk so I just live with the uncomfortable. After that summer it stopped and for a couple of years it just happened for a couple of months every year and mostly in summer.
Until last 2 years I found it becomes more serious so I decided to actively deal with it since the uncomfortable had affected my everyday life and I probably could find ways to reduce the damage to my body and life to the minimum. So I went to see a doctor and he suggested that since I still got some part of uterus there is a chance to get cancer through using hormone, but since I don’t have family history of cancer, he suggested me to use hormone but will give me some other prescription like every two month to “wash it away”. So I started taking hormone treatment and about after two months the hot flash was alleviated and then stopped, then I stopped taking medicine and tried some natural hormone products suggested by friend for a month then I am free from the hot flash for another several months until it emerged again in this summer.
However, before I would take another round of the hormone medicine, I tried other things instead, that is loyal jelly and small excises every day which I found can reduce the strength and frequency, however only slightly, and I also found other interesting observations about the hot flash patterns.
The first thing is that before this whole new wave of hot flash setting off, I found I would have a kind of intensive and sudden depressive emotion burst within my body which if I can noticed it and stop it right away without following or creating any thoughts, then it would just stopped, which I saw it as a kind of achievement of my process though I was not aware of the connection between the depression bursts and their sources or trigger points, it would be like before I woke up in the morning I usually found I was already playing with some memories in my mind, and suddenly the depression just burst out and then I found it and stopped it.
Here a history about my depression: I am actually quite familiar with the emotion since I was a little kid, in the beginning it was just the uncomfortable feeling slowly emerged within my body and I kind of hearing it said something like “I would like to die”, “it makes no sense in this world” …, it was just an weird and uneasy thing for me at that time, but with all the events and relationships connections happened in my growing process, the depression had just become part of me and I had spent much time in my life wanting to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling, then until recently I found it sometimes become this intensive and sudden formation.
To be continue……
DIP Pro --http://desteniiprocess.com/