Self-Forgiveness on Openness

Self-Forgiveness on Openness

(這是關於在工作上開放的自我表達的寬恕)

In some occasions like when I am leading a group or expressing some knowledge and information, I am attempting to suppress the expression of myself, including memories comes up my mind of my childhood, my past experiences, and my feelings and emotions towards people or my past, because I defined myself as a leader of this group and therefore should not do something which I believed to be not allowed for a leader and so I got some energy to want to really “tell” people what I am talking about, and also I am hiding from what I am not certain, what if they know what is going on my mind, what would they think about me? And it’s actually the parts of me that was denied by myself and I am not wanting to see and taking my responsibility to deal with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself for not accepting and realising openness as expression of me which I sometimes separate from myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself in some occasions when I am leading a group or expressing what I believed others should know.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and believe that to be a leader or a counsellor, I should not openly and unconditionally express myself in order to help people and do my job properly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe what I was taught when I was studying psychology as a student that I should obey some rules like not talking about myself for doing a good job as a counsellor, and not realizing that psychologists and counsellors are working as a mean to maintain the world system, and people who are involving in this are within a conspiracy to make everyone including themselves in this world to accept the fear of each other and to stay in the mind and thus keep everybody to be enslaved forever.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I actually chose to believe what I was taught since I am the one who accept all what I want to accept, so I am the one who doesn’t want to show myself in front of students/clients that what I told them are just knowledge which I myself doesn’t proved and fulfilled and lived and thus I am actually not a good teacher/psychologist but just a cowardly liar. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and accept the knowledge from the world system and my mind when I actually understand it is a lie and I still applied and insisted the knowledge is helpful to enslave myself and people.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to deny and blame myself when the moment I found I was suppressing myself in communication with students, and thus indulge in the mind and slow my response and therefore separate myself even further, instead of stopping and breathing and correcting myself immediately when I found the suppression separated and defined by myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in and define and separate and minimize myself as the energetic polarity of superiority as an omniscient psychologist and of inferiority as a cowardly hiding liar, instead of living as life as free as open as one and equal in communicating with other people in every breath here.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that what I am hiding from and believing of myself and people are the parts of my mind of me that is real me and is the parts/point of me separated from me that I need to see for myself to walk as those parts/points to bring them back to myself and then I could actually follow the principle of equality and oneness to assist people and myself and to do the best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that a practical way to assist myself and people is to actually open myself to show my real self and in such a doing I show how I take my own responsibility and be self-honest to bring myself together as one and equal as anyone I am assisting to really effectively assisting people.

I realized that when I need to express knowledge or that kind of things, I am actually living and walking that knowledge as myself, and those rules and whatever principles that confine me as a counsellor or psychologist are actually what I am using to hide myself from, however, I don’t need to hide myself from others and myself because those parts of me are also me and whenever I am aware/perceiving those parts coming from myself is my chance to take those separate points back to me and as a living example to show people how I am self-honest and take my own responsibility and thus to be as the knowledge to assist people, and thus I am the openness as my unconditional expression of life.

Whenever I perceive the parts of me coming from my mind when I am expressing knowledge and the sort of things, I stop, I breathe, I do not accept and allow myself to suppress any parts and points of myself and just wanting to tell people what the knowledge is, and stay within the back and forth of the energetic polarity state of mind of superiority and inferiority, instead, I allow and accept myself to stop myself suppressing/denying the thoughts and emotions or blaming myself, and breathe myself in the moment to become one and equal with whatever I am to show people how I am experiencing myself and my memory and past and people in front of me and thus show how I bring it back to me and direct that point here to do the best for all under the principle of equal and one, and thus I unconditionally express myself as the openness of life.