Day 617—A Suppression
Analysis
Since not long
ago I found I can really stop myself to participate in a deep seated design of
a mind construct with a close relationship of my family within awareness, and
so within this transcending process I could see more details of dimensions from
the suppression of myself.
In that moment
when the family member were making some expression which I would always react
internally or externally, however after a decision and application to
thoroughly deconstruct it, this time as I saw the similar expression beside me
happening, I stood within my body and watch the whole thing, but nothing
happened within, and the event was still going, and I was still breathing, and
then decide there is no need to respond but still listening, and I check myself
within, found I just stopped there, without any suppression, and this is the
moment I realize what is a real stop without suppression. It seemed that I could
realize everything in a quantum moment and thus knew well there is no need to
go any further.
Therefore
within this process I observed how my suppression could be happened in about 5
levels of the mind reaction layers. The first layer is the value and judgment
from the interpretation, blaming, projection towards others, for example: “he
should not say something like that within his anxiety and lacking of
information, which would make people feeling uncomfortable”. The second layer
would be some mind constructs of self-victimization and self-judgment etc.,
like I had been feeling bad and judging myself in the similar circumstances and
so reacted to the memories, experiences, pictures, conclusions and so on, for
example: a picture with of this person yelling at me and I stood there feeling
scary.
Then the next
level would be the judgment and reaction towards the previous 2 reactions, it
became the suppression of the mind reaction through the knowledge and
information. For example, “I should not produce this reaction of blaming others
and connect the past memory and experience”.
The forth
level is when the moment I found I had constricted myself, then further again, to
judge and react to this constriction reaction, believing that I should not
suppress myself, and within this I would make a misconception as conclusion
that I should not suppress myself in any way whatsoever, I should let it all
out, otherwise I was producing more of the mind energy accumulating on my body.
It as a misconception because this is still a value system with energy,
meanwhile we don’t want to let the emotion go as it is as the personality
pattern, but to stand within the emotional energy to transcend the energy, so I
can express myself about the process clearly within communication. For example,
I am not going to manifest the anger and blaming others, but to back to the
breathing and stop the inner process, then I can explain to others how I feel
within myself about what happened and what is that all about. Of course there
are other options like I could note it down to deal with them afterwards
depending on the situation. However as long as I didn’t deconstruct the mind
pattern or at the moment create myself in the physicality, it would be more or
less in a way and an extent of suppression, if you will.
The fifth
level is coming from the misunderstood interpretation on the last level,
because within it I have seen if I just let go of my emotions as they are there
would be consequences, therefore I just jump into an ideal solution model as I
believed no matter what, and still it is the manifestation of value and energy
within the knowledge and information. For instance, I right away respond to and
support the other, however though the correction itself looked perfect, but it
actually became an over-reaction and in fact suppressed the previous inner
process, the reaction could be so fast to not allow myself to see clearly what
was inside the process, but still could feel the pressure within the body and
causing consequence within.
The first 2
levels of the mind pattern are always go together, unless to really stop or
deal with or change them right the moment as it happens, otherwise the suppression
took the place, sometimes it stayed on the third or fourth level or even went
to the fifth level like I was going through, and from there I could see how I
just automatically accumulate the mind pattern through all the knowledge and value
and judgment mind system instead of really live those as living words and so suppress
myself layer after layer and leave the consequence to my body.
After that time
I had stopped the deep seated mind pattern attached to the family member, I
could in afterwards when I was facing a similar situation, at the moment as the
external stimuli set off to be aware of any little movement and right away stop
myself within breathing, and leave myself enough space and time to practically
respond to the situation which would be best for everyone. And from my
experiences the external stimuli as the mind trigger point would be eventually
not a point anymore.
DIP線上課程—學習如何超越心智系統
