A Journey Back to Self as Life : confidence

2016年9月19日星期一

Day 615—How I use my hot flash to support myself 8

Some final notes

Starting from 5 years ago and only stopping the most obvious reaction from hot flash, to treat it with medical treatment since last year, to really face and observe and investigate everything from and into it and deal with it accordingly since 5 months ago, till now I am almost not been affected by the almost diminished symptom, yes, I stopped the symptom before through medicine but not in a systematical way and taking the responsibility to the extend as this time.

Therefore, within these processes, I have gone through quite much mind reactions and design and learned things from them, and through all these I also found I become even more sensitive or I can say intimate to my body condition, not only that I can detect some mild pains and the movement in my solar plexus, I also had this experience and confidence to trace back my mind process within it so I can give myself chance to deconstruct them, and when I meet some bigger body effect, I would follow a rather stable process to deal with them as possible. However, all needs the first step of willing to see for myself and to walk the process constantly and consistently with discipline to provide self the chance to walk into this stage and continue the process to the next.

Also what had been going on here is also this tendency of mine that I would always want to fulfill my learning goal through a realistic and systematic way and then really applied them step by step to reach the goal. And within it I am aware of that it is always in a way an experiment of myself within which I would get a temporary conclusion from what I gathered and then tested it and cross referenced it and sometimes when I got more information I would adjust my way of doing it if it is seen to be necessary, and thus I mean I had applied it within this process of dealing with the hot flash, and since now I only dealing with them from what I realized, then I might integrate more and correct myself in the future. Therefore here I am mentioning and sharing this process so people could make it a reference for their own experience or experiment.

I recalled in the early stage when I had observed something from my hot flash and found some effect on dealing with it, my DIP course buddy reminded me to share the process with people since there are so many people are encountering this situation. I bore that in mind but knew I was not ready for that since I figured I still need some more observation to see if the diminishing of the symptom is really in relation to what I have done to stop the mind and body reaction, and the connection between the symptom and the mind pattern is still uncertain and I knew I can do more about it. So, after another several months’ information gathering and working, I finally had enough feedback to share the result with people. Within this process I also meet a point to learn and realize instead of expecting more from people and myself, here can be a place where I just got enough to share. Thus here it is.

DIP Lite--http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

DIP Pro --http://desteniiprocess.com/

EQAFE--https://eqafe.com/

2016年9月13日星期二

Day 614—How I use my hot flash to support myself 7

Parallel process

One thing that I reveal for myself within the process is that there are actually multiple processes we can move ourselves in a parallel way as possible.

Sometimes before I watched people busy on looking for the mind source for a body condition then I had this question coming up that why bother to find the sources of body symptoms, because they can be everything from multiple dimensions of mind system and through walking the process we are going to deconstruct everything after all! At the same time I was actually lacking this experience and confidence to deal with those old symptoms and body pains, I was too familiar with them already as consequence for so many decades, and it seemed I can still get along with them “so far so good”, and the sources of the conditions are such “huge issues”, can I really manage those issues after I got something about them? Thus I did not see that a path as an option for me. However, providing myself enough information and time to work with myself, now I see it actually can be a parallel process.

In the stage of the observation from my hot flashes, I had seen that within the days indulging myself with full of thoughts, the symptom would be more serious than the days I had much less mind activities. Thus, yes, if I can just stop everything, things would become much easier. So, then, obviously I didn’t just stop the mind activities effectively on daily basis. Except my own responsibility for the mind functions, I realized it still needs a process to allow myself some more experiences as applications, feedback, evidences, cross references, then the confidence from those experiences and also more of the clarification from information and the relations between things, until I went to this point that I was ready to conduct something more.

Then now with some more experiences and confidence through my process, and with all the information and clarification in relation to my hot flash, I came to the point to see and realize this is where I am ready for facing this body consequence to assist myself, I saw the symptoms can be served as immediate feedback for how I could effectively stop my personality patterns on daily basis, so I then applied everything I learned and obtained from everywhere to solve problems for myself. As I can really see how I practically change myself to diminish the symptom, I realize this practice actually supports my entire process.

I know it is not I must need such body conditions to support myself, nor should I wait until something become serious and unbearable then I found I must do something about it, actually as adults we all had something or another on the body to remind us what we had done to ourselves, and thus can through the symptoms to walk the process even faster, and from common sense we know it would take longer to change if overlook what has been manifested on body, thus even the mild body conditions can always reminds us to discipline ourselves more.

Further, with the fact that some long-term bodily consequence were formed through time, we might not terminate them so effectively in a short period of time, like now I am on the way cease the hot flash by using hormone treatment, it then would no longer become the feedback for how I deal with the relationships and other things, thus what always there support myself is the ordinary process I am constantly walking. Therefore we actually need parallel processes, as the matter of fact, in this process there has been evolved multiple parallel processes together at the same period of time and they certainly can assist and support each other.

To be continue…