Day 623—things that changed easily
As I am changing myself in real time in this process while been taken over through the mind pattern, I found a situation that is within those things seemed easily to change, and after I thought I had made a correction and walked out of the pattern and then experienced several times of the similar situation, for example the same picture and inner conversation, then I told myself what I have been realized, and I put it down, thought it had been changed and alright, but then afterwards because of the triggering from another similar stimulus, I found the same energetic manifested pattern became even harder to transcend, so I have to use more longer time to face and deal with the situation. Now I would like to illustrate about how it goes this way a bit.
Firstly, when a pattern showed up, I thought I had done all the relevant deconstruction through writing , however I still neglected another layer of the structure. For example, when someone A talked to me about how B had achieved something, I felt uncomfortable and at the moment I saw this is because I compared myself to B and created the competition and thus that was the jealousy construct, thus I went deal with all that construct towards B as possible. However after the dealing the same picture of A talking to me is still coming up with the negative energy, then I believed I had done forgiveness and thus I could release the energy more easily and yes it seemed I did, but after several times of doing this, I found the next time when A came to me and talked about the similar thing of B again, then I found more energy coming and even faster and I could just react right away towards A. Then after that I finally found I had also created hostility towards A for what A did to me but didn’t find it and thus never deal with that before.
Thus from here I know when the patterns and points I thought was deconstructed thoroughly coming up again, I could have seen it earlier that if there is any other layers that didn’t deal with, because the part hadn’t been dealt with is getting more energy within itself and waiting for the personality reaction to be triggered.
Also I observed when a patter or point has been deconstructed, though there would be still some memories and pictures coming up through the triggering by the similar stimuli, there won’t be much energy charge within it, and it won’t coming up so often within a short period of time, and won’t make me to be aware and find it only in a relatively latter time, therefore when the memory shows up too frequently and not so easy to be detected, it means there are some layers that I haven’t dealt with yet.
And, when I made myself stayed in some memory and then noticed the pattern then stopped I need to be aware that the energy dimension been released too, since if I thought it can be stopped and changed easily then it would be fine, but there is still energy suppressed within the body, I probably just shifted my attention instead of completely released the pattern or point, so it can be accumulated and would become a bigger reaction from some other stimulus or trigger points in the future.
So these are some observations in relation to real time change to remind myself and the final thing I know is no matter what other situation that would cause the real time change not so effective, I should just keep going to correct and change.
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