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2017年1月26日 星期四

Day 623—things that changed easily

Day 623—things that changed easily




As I am changing myself in real time in this process while been taken over through the mind pattern, I found a situation that is within those things seemed easily to change, and after I thought I had made a correction and walked out of the pattern and then experienced several times of the similar situation, for example the same picture and inner conversation, then I told myself what I have been realized, and I put it down, thought it had been changed and alright, but then afterwards because of the triggering from another similar stimulus, I found the same energetic manifested pattern became even harder to transcend, so I have to use more longer time to face and deal with the situation. Now I would like to illustrate about how it goes this way a bit.

Firstly, when a pattern showed up, I thought I had done all the relevant deconstruction through writing , however I still neglected another layer of the structure. For example, when someone A talked to me about how B had achieved something, I felt uncomfortable and at the moment I saw this is because I compared myself to B and created the competition and thus that was the jealousy construct, thus I went deal with all that construct towards B as possible. However after the dealing the same picture of A talking to me is still coming up with the negative energy, then I believed I had done forgiveness and thus I could release the energy more easily and yes it seemed I did, but after several times of doing this, I found the next time when A came to me and talked about the similar thing of B again, then I found more energy coming and even faster and I could just react right away towards A. Then after that I finally found I had also created hostility towards A for what A did to me but didn’t find it and thus never deal with that before.

Thus from here I know when the patterns and points I thought was deconstructed thoroughly coming up again, I could have seen it earlier that if there is any other layers that didn’t deal with, because the part hadn’t been dealt with is getting more energy within itself and waiting for the personality reaction to be triggered.

Also I observed when a patter or point has been deconstructed, though there would be still some memories and pictures coming up through the triggering by the similar stimuli, there won’t be much energy charge within it, and it won’t coming up so often within a short period of time, and won’t make me to be aware and find it only in a relatively latter time, therefore when the memory shows up too frequently and not so easy to be detected, it means there are some layers that I haven’t dealt with yet.

And, when I made myself stayed in some memory and then noticed the pattern then stopped I need to be aware that the energy dimension been released too, since if I thought it can be stopped and changed easily then it would be fine, but there is still energy suppressed within the body, I probably just shifted my attention instead of completely released the pattern or point, so it can be accumulated and would become a bigger reaction from some other stimulus or trigger points in the future.

So these are some observations in relation to real time change to remind myself and the final thing I know is no matter what other situation that would cause the real time change not so effective, I should just keep going to correct and change.


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2016年8月23日 星期二

Day 610—How I use my hot flash to support myself 3

Day 610—How I use my hot flash to support myself 3




Kinesiology  

In the session of Kinesiology the Kinesiologist told me that in relation to my hormone problem, what tested out was that mostly it has something to do with my internal conversation in relation to a specific person which is my father, and those backchats towards and in relation to my father are charged with positive feelings as well as negative emotions and those emotions also been tested out is insensitive, reserved, weary, cold, uncaring and unresponsive, which already become my own emotions patterns through copying and learning from and with my father to protect myself as a protection mechanism and those are located in the mind level of subconscious, unconscious, quantum mind, quantum physical.

Within the session I also crossed reference and clarified some other questions related to hot flash and thus I knew the intensity and duration would be influenced by the level of what is going on in the mind that I am participating and believing in my backchat. And I also confirmed the royal jelly and exercise is helping, also I can massage my foot to ground myself, and I got some suggestions of EQAFE interviews to support my process.

I was quite astonished and excited to know all these information at once, and with the backchat in relation to my father I recalled not long ago I had a thought about he didn’t response to my recent sickness with a slight of those emotions attached to it and also some memories of my childhood, however I actually dealt with the major conflicts and emotions towards my father in my teenage years and that had made us quite in an equal communicated relationship for a long time already.

Then I realized, yes, those emotions and personalities has become me already, and that belongs to one of my major personalities and for recent two years since I am actively making friends and finding potential partners and which is quite an emotional process…, so obviously, I had applied those mind patterns to those potential partner relationships, it could be the reason my hot flash was getting serious and it is clear that I still had quite some mind patterns need to face and to stop the relevant thoughts and memories and thus solve problems with my relationship and my body conditions.

Now I got the names and clues of emotions related to my relationships and personalities which manifested as the backchat in the mind, so every time when the hot flash coming, I can be more easily aware of and trace back to the internal conversations and imaginations in my mind that had things to do with the emotions and relationship personalities.

It is quite an interesting journey for me to investigate and analyze all the connections and sources, and I also in the end of a day wrote down the memories I can assess to those thoughts and emotions, and within the realization I deconstruct and do self-forgiveness and commit myself to stop those internal conversation towards those relationships. Since I had dealt with my relationships for years, it is now more easy and effective, although there are still some of the hot flash that I don’t have clear clue where they are coming from, however merely doing this part had already reduced some of the occurrences, so the hot flash pattern everyday new become the immediate feedback point for how effective I can dealt with and stop the relationship patterns.

To be continue……