Day 611—How I
use my hot flash to support myself 4
My stomach point
Remember I described about how my stomach
ulcer also became an initial point for episodes of hot flash within which I
would sense a burst of
strong heat and painful feeling emerge from the middle of my stomach? So, in the next session of Kinesiology I asked about my stomach
point.
I had ulcer since I was 13, and since that it
seemed I never really fully recovered from that, and it is always like having
some level of mild ulcer, and this situation also makes me not easy to sense
the changes and different emotions on solar plexus. Beside that I also have gastritis
like once a year. However, for dealing with all the stomach experiences for
such a long time, I was sort of used to it and getting along with it quite
alright.
What was testing out in kinesiology is that
it's in relation to the thoughts from violent, nasty and superior nature in my
mind that I react to with judgment and suppression, so the stomach problems
would be a consequence of my judging and hiding of those thoughts coming up in
my conscious mind, and furthermore, I became addicted to an over active mode as
a self-compromising way to deal with the pattern, for example, I would act too
fast and effective to correct my action towards the nature that I want to hide,
thus I didn’t slow down enough to see the process of the pattern and change the
judgment and suppression entirely, and within it, I realized quite
interestingly, there is such pattern as over correction and over action which
are still mind functions that imply suppression and self-judgment.
What I had being quite known about my stomach
history is that it was coming from how my family adults made efforts to oppress
my temper since I was a kid and how I nurture the mind in trying hard getting
all the evidences to fight back that I was better and right during my growing
process, and obviously I still didn’t gave up the self-judgment towards those
personalities and thus I was still confirming and defining myself as that was
who I am, so fortunately now I got the feedback from kinesiology to see how I
need to still working on it and to make absolute decision.
And for the part of self-compromising on
over active, I now can be more aware of from the introspection of the instances
of how I had activated the pattern in a hasting pace within working environment
in the near past, and within it I see how the whole pattern can be activated and
done within seconds within which I didn’t allow myself to see and only left the
sudden painful stomach there as consequence and then I realized how it is this
wave of ulcer as consequence coming from, so I can then through the realization
dealing with the pattern.
However, since I was in the summer vacation
the work load was much less then, the pattern didn’t have much effect on my
stomach, and after I also had dealt with the stomach with watching my diet and
the treatment of camellia oil, with the gradually alleviated symptom, the hot
flash pattern of the stomach point was also gone.
To be continue…
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