Day 615—How I use my hot flash to support myself 8

Day 615—How I use my hot flash to support myself 8

 

Some final notes

 

Starting from 5 years ago and only stopping the most obvious reaction from hot flash, to treat it with medical treatment since last year, to really face and observe and investigate everything from and into it and deal with it accordingly since 5 months ago, till now I am almost not been affected by the almost diminished symptom, yes, I stopped the symptom before through medicine but not in a systematical way and taking the responsibility to the extend as this time.

 

Therefore, within these processes, I have gone through quite much mind reactions and design and learned things from them, and through all these I also found I become even more sensitive or I can say intimate to my body condition, not only that I can detect some mild pains and the movement in my solar plexus, I also had this experience and confidence to trace back my mind process within it so I can give myself chance to deconstruct them, and when I meet some bigger body effect, I would follow a rather stable process to deal with them as possible. However, all needs the first step of willing to see for myself and to walk the process constantly and consistently with discipline to provide self the chance to walk into this stage and continue the process to the next.

 

Also what had been going on here is also this tendency of mine that I would always want to fulfill my learning goal through a realistic and systematic way and then really applied them step by step to reach the goal. And within it I am aware of that it is always in a way an experiment of myself within which I would get a temporary conclusion from what I gathered and then tested it and cross referenced it and sometimes when I got more information I would adjust my way of doing it if it is seen to be necessary, and thus I mean I had applied it within this process of dealing with the hot flash, and since now I only dealing with them from what I realized, then I might integrate more and correct myself in the future. Therefore here I am mentioning and sharing this process so people could make it a reference for their own experience or experiment.

 

I recalled in the early stage when I had observed something from my hot flash and found some effect on dealing with it, my DIP course buddy reminded me to share the process with people since there are so many people are encountering this situation. I bore that in mind but knew I was not ready for that since I figured I still need some more observation to see if the diminishing of the symptom is really in relation to what I have done to stop the mind and body reaction, and the connection between the symptom and the mind pattern is still uncertain and I knew I can do more about it. So, after another several months’ information gathering and working, I finally had enough feedback to share the result with people. Within this process I also meet a point to learn and realize instead of expecting more from people and myself, here can be a place where I just got enough to share. Thus here it is.

 

 

 

 

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Day 608—How I use my hot flash to support myself

Day 608—How I use my hot flash to support myself

Here I would like to share my observation and work with the hot flash experience of my body to provide some context for people who have the similar situation and also during this process to support myself .

I was having hormone problems since many years ago and which caused quite some body conditions need to be taken care of. Until the summer 5 years ago, the hot flash started coming, during that stage I already had an early menopause caused by uterus surgery for a couple of years, and from medical knowledge I know this hot flash caused by hormone imbalance belongs to one of the menopause syndromes which makes autonomic nervous system become dysfunction. And there is another obvious event during that time in my life was that I was dealing with a serious relationship conflict, within which I had strong emotional waves up and down for quite some time already.

The hot flash was quite strong since the beginning and about a dozen times a day, it’s the feeling of body heating up within me and my head and neck would become red and my upper body would sweat and then the whole body is just soaking in the unbearable heat. Since I am already joining the course of DIP to start the process of directing myself in life, I found there are always some emotional reactions following every occurrence of hot flash, thus what I know about it is to just stop the reactions and see the hot flash as it is, and found in this way I can still get along with it.

I decided not to see the doctor because I am sure what they would do is the treatment of hormone medicine, and I have heard long time ago that it may cause cancer and I don’t want the risk so I just live with the uncomfortable. After that summer it stopped and for a couple of years it just happened for a couple of months every year and mostly in summer.

Until last 2 years I found it becomes more serious so I decided to actively deal with it since the uncomfortable had affected my everyday life and I probably could find ways to reduce the damage to my body and life to the minimum. So I went to see a doctor and he suggested that since I still got some part of uterus there is a chance to get cancer through using hormone, but since I don’t have family history of cancer, he suggested me to use hormone but will give me some other prescription like every two month to “wash it away”. So I started taking hormone treatment and about after two months the hot flash was alleviated and then stopped, then I stopped taking medicine and tried some natural hormone products suggested by friend for a month then I am free from the hot flash for another several months until it emerged again in this summer.

However, before I would take another round of the hormone medicine, I tried other things instead, that is loyal jelly and small excises every day which I found can reduce the strength and frequency, however only slightly, and I also found other interesting observations about the hot flash patterns.

The first thing is that before this whole new wave of hot flash setting off, I found I would have a kind of intensive and sudden depressive emotion burst within my body which if I can noticed it and stop it right away without following or creating any thoughts, then it would just stopped, which I saw it as a kind of achievement of my process though I was not aware of the connection between the depression bursts and their sources or trigger points, it would be like before I woke up in the morning I usually found I was already playing with some memories in my mind, and suddenly the depression just burst out and then I found it and stopped it.

Here a history about my depression: I am actually quite familiar with the emotion since I was a little kid, in the beginning it was just the uncomfortable feeling slowly emerged within my body and I kind of hearing it said something like “I would like to die”, “it makes no sense in this world” …, it was just an weird and uneasy thing for me at that time, but with all the events and relationships connections happened in my growing process, the depression had just become part of me and I had spent much time in my life wanting to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling, then until recently I found it sometimes become this intensive and sudden formation.

To be continue……

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