Day 613—How I use my hot flash to support myself 6

Day 613—How I use my hot flash to support myself 6

Reactions towards my hot flash

After all the work I mentioned in the previous sharing, there left about half times of the hot flash occurrences in a day comparing to the beginning stage. However, not long after I enjoyed the accomplishment, I went to the opposite state of the mind. Obviously, at this stage while focusing on the process of dealing with the symptom, I had manifested the polarized mind reaction patterns and consequences towards the hot flash and myself and the all treatment process, and also ignored and accepted the mind process. Here is my observation.

With the worrying and fearing of the symptom in the beginning, to the exciting and amazing of the information gained from kinesiology, and the desiring and expectations for the perfect outcome during the dealing process, to the satisfaction and enjoyment of the accomplishment, and then finally, I indulging myself in the disappointing and blaming for the last part that seemed I cannot do anything more about them. Thus then I take the chance to introspect the reaction process including the mind and physical reactions and all the backchats in my DIP assignment which required me to investigate the fear preprogramming pattern in daily life.

One observation is that in the final stage I observed the hot flashes still has a few emotional ones as well as plain heat ones, my frustration can be easily triggered by the former, and then create backchats patterns, except the believe that I got more responsibility for the emotional ones, it seemed I also took on the emotional energy to create more energy and personalities.

And from what I was blaming myself and the hot flash and the process, I see my hot flashes was in a way taking placed from two kinds of resources or effects, one is the long-term mind pattern consequence manifested in physical, one is the current backchats and reactions from immediate or short-term environmental stimuli. I have learned from quantum mind serious interviews from EQAFE that we can only be aware of the consequence of the quantum mind’s and quantum physical’s effect, therefore what we can do is to not to participate the reactions of the mind and to find the things trigger the reactions and do self-forgiveness for the points and mind structure to prevent from it in the future and thus change oneself. And through such works I could and already reduce about half of the hot flashes, however it would not be possible to just undo them all within such a short period of time, but require deeper insights through time and also physical support, for the existence of the symptom still shows me that my body is damaging itself through the long term consequence condition.

On finding the answer to understand how far my process can do about it and decide the treatment afterwards, I discussed it with my buddy, and found her reply confirmed the answer already within me, then, what I need to do is just to stop the old mind reaction patterns towards the hot flash and myself and proceed the next stop, which is to go to the doctor for medical treatment to support my body.

Now I just done a month’s dosage of the hormone treatment and now I got only a couple of times of mild hot flash a day, and then doctor offered me the continuous prescription and suggested me to use it according to my own estimation. What I would do is to take as small amount as possible with my process to ease the symptom.

To be continue…

DIP Lite--http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

DIP Pro --http://desteniiprocess.com/

EQAFE--https://eqafe.com/

Day 611—How I use my hot flash to support myself 4

Day 611—How I use my hot flash to support myself 4

My stomach point

Remember I described about how my stomach ulcer also became an initial point for episodes of hot flash within which I would sense a burst of strong heat and painful feeling emerge from the middle of my stomach? So, in the next session of Kinesiology I asked about my stomach point.

I had ulcer since I was 13, and since that it seemed I never really fully recovered from that, and it is always like having some level of mild ulcer, and this situation also makes me not easy to sense the changes and different emotions on solar plexus. Beside that I also have gastritis like once a year. However, for dealing with all the stomach experiences for such a long time, I was sort of used to it and getting along with it quite alright.

What was testing out in kinesiology is that it's in relation to the thoughts from violent, nasty and superior nature in my mind that I react to with judgment and suppression, so the stomach problems would be a consequence of my judging and hiding of those thoughts coming up in my conscious mind, and furthermore, I became addicted to an over active mode as a self-compromising way to deal with the pattern, for example, I would act too fast and effective to correct my action towards the nature that I want to hide, thus I didn’t slow down enough to see the process of the pattern and change the judgment and suppression entirely, and within it, I realized quite interestingly, there is such pattern as over correction and over action which are still mind functions that imply suppression and self-judgment.

What I had being quite known about my stomach history is that it was coming from how my family adults made efforts to oppress my temper since I was a kid and how I nurture the mind in trying hard getting all the evidences to fight back that I was better and right during my growing process, and obviously I still didn’t gave up the self-judgment towards those personalities and thus I was still confirming and defining myself as that was who I am, so fortunately now I got the feedback from kinesiology to see how I need to still working on it and to make absolute decision.

And for the part of self-compromising on over active, I now can be more aware of from the introspection of the instances of how I had activated the pattern in a hasting pace within working environment in the near past, and within it I see how the whole pattern can be activated and done within seconds within which I didn’t allow myself to see and only left the sudden painful stomach there as consequence and then I realized how it is this wave of ulcer as consequence coming from, so I can then through the realization dealing with the pattern.

However, since I was in the summer vacation the work load was much less then, the pattern didn’t have much effect on my stomach, and after I also had dealt with the stomach with watching my diet and the treatment of camellia oil, with the gradually alleviated symptom, the hot flash pattern of the stomach point was also gone.

To be continue…

DIP Lite--http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

DIP Pro --http://desteniiprocess.com/

EQAFE--https://eqafe.com/

Day 610—How I use my hot flash to support myself 3

Day 610—How I use my hot flash to support myself 3

Kinesiology  

In the session of Kinesiology the Kinesiologist told me that in relation to my hormone problem, what tested out was that mostly it has something to do with my internal conversation in relation to a specific person which is my father, and those backchats towards and in relation to my father are charged with positive feelings as well as negative emotions and those emotions also been tested out is insensitive, reserved, weary, cold, uncaring and unresponsive, which already become my own emotions patterns through copying and learning from and with my father to protect myself as a protection mechanism and those are located in the mind level of subconscious, unconscious, quantum mind, quantum physical.

Within the session I also crossed reference and clarified some other questions related to hot flash and thus I knew the intensity and duration would be influenced by the level of what is going on in the mind that I am participating and believing in my backchat. And I also confirmed the royal jelly and exercise is helping, also I can massage my foot to ground myself, and I got some suggestions of EQAFE interviews to support my process.

I was quite astonished and excited to know all these information at once, and with the backchat in relation to my father I recalled not long ago I had a thought about he didn’t response to my recent sickness with a slight of those emotions attached to it and also some memories of my childhood, however I actually dealt with the major conflicts and emotions towards my father in my teenage years and that had made us quite in an equal communicated relationship for a long time already.

Then I realized, yes, those emotions and personalities has become me already, and that belongs to one of my major personalities and for recent two years since I am actively making friends and finding potential partners and which is quite an emotional process…, so obviously, I had applied those mind patterns to those potential partner relationships, it could be the reason my hot flash was getting serious and it is clear that I still had quite some mind patterns need to face and to stop the relevant thoughts and memories and thus solve problems with my relationship and my body conditions.

Now I got the names and clues of emotions related to my relationships and personalities which manifested as the backchat in the mind, so every time when the hot flash coming, I can be more easily aware of and trace back to the internal conversations and imaginations in my mind that had things to do with the emotions and relationship personalities.

It is quite an interesting journey for me to investigate and analyze all the connections and sources, and I also in the end of a day wrote down the memories I can assess to those thoughts and emotions, and within the realization I deconstruct and do self-forgiveness and commit myself to stop those internal conversation towards those relationships. Since I had dealt with my relationships for years, it is now more easy and effective, although there are still some of the hot flash that I don’t have clear clue where they are coming from, however merely doing this part had already reduced some of the occurrences, so the hot flash pattern everyday new become the immediate feedback point for how effective I can dealt with and stop the relationship patterns.

To be continue……

DIP Lite--http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

DIP Pro --http://desteniiprocess.com/

EQAFE--https://eqafe.com/

Day 609—How I use my hot flash to support myself 2

Day 609—How I use my hot flash to support myself 2

My observations

Then I gradually found sometimes this depression burst becoming the very first part of my hot flash, well perhaps it’s always is but I didn’t notice that because in the beginning the hot flash was not so matured and strong enough. Then I wanted to just stop it like those successful situations but found I actually cannot stop it and had to wait until the whole body heat walked its own period. Since I had walked my process and become more aware of my body, I decided to observe it closer and took notes about the occurrences.

I started to note down every occurrence of the hot flash, includes the time, the environment, the duration, and the intensity, and it’s about a dozen times a day and a couple of times at night and it would wake me up now and then, and it sometimes strong and long but sometimes weak and short, however, I didn’t found the connection with the environment except the hot temperature but had this feeling that it might has something to do with what I am thinking, but for me those things happened in my head are the memories of old things, new ones, plans, coming and going one after one as usual, which are things so familiar to me within which I didn’t clearly see emotions that caught my attention, therefore are there really a clear connections between them and the hot flash? how can I see the connections?

During that time another thing happened to my body which is my old stomach ulcer problem backing again, and it is the feeling that my stomach would feel a big chunk of something there stuffed in the middle of my body and suffered more during digesting process and all I know is that it has something to do with a period time of hard working during which I maintained a certain level of anxiety.

Thus I found there are at least 3 different kinds of initial points to start a hot flash at that stage:

1.     A burst of strong depression feeling occurred in the middle of my head region within which I can sense a heated rusty choking smell thing gush in from behind my nose and eyes area and then into the whole head, neck and upper buddy area

2.     A burst of strong heat and painful feeling emerge from the middle of my stomach area and slowly up to the upper body area

3.     The plain heat feeling slowly sneaky out of somewhere of my body and then eventually cover my upper and other area of my body

And within these observations I found the hot flash/hormone seemed to has its own live and will and would exaggerate and centralize my emotion and body problem I already have within me for a long time and that had manifested within the interaction of events and my mind system during that stage, and also they would had something do to with the hormone state. 

I then talked about this situation with my buddy who supports me in my DIP process, she suggested me to find the mind source of my hormone through kinesiology within which we can use the professional’s muscle testing to know about things in the physical level which myself cannot access yet. At this moment I realize this is exactly where I can find the answers, so I scheduled a session right away.

To be continue……

DIP Lite--http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ 

DIP Pro --http://desteniiprocess.com/ 

EQAFE-- https://eqafe.com/